Will a pretty face make it better?
-Psalm 139:14
"Beauty doesn’t matter." But in reality, pretty faces always win. Pretty privilege is real.
Society makes up all this beauty standard that is so unreachable.
I rejected femininity when I was little. Cause I felt like I’d only be considered as a girl when I’m pretty and have a fair, smooth glass skin with an ideal body.
Well for me, I never really cared about my appearance back then. But they kept making comments about my skin, face, and body over and over again. So I can’t help but be so self-conscious.
“Ang itim mo naman. Mabuti pa si ganito ang puti. Di ka naman lumalabas, ba’t ganyan kulay mo?"
“Ang laki mo na ah. Napabayaan ka siguro sa kusina. Ang taba taba mo."
“Okay ka naman pero baka gumanda ka kung hindi ka mataba."
“Ano ka ba, hindi ka naman mataba. Chubby lang."
“Ba’t parang hindi pantay mukha mo dito sa picture?"
I mean, I know. I know that I’m not pretty. I’m aware that I’m like that. But can’t you all just stop pointing out my insecurities? It hurts.
Instead of hating on what they say. I started hating myself. I despise my own reflection.
Why can't I just be effortlessly pretty like the others?
Why can't I just be pretty to look at?
And just like that, my self-doubts started to pile up.
It’s so awkward to put some make up on. To try on skin care, style my hair, and choose outfits. It felt like dressing up and putting lipstick on a pig.
I started to hate my hair, my uneven eyes, my body, my asymmetrical face, my teeth, my nose, my waist.
I just hated everything about me.
I wasn’t wanted by anyone. Consequently, I felt invisible and excluded from social gatherings, leading me to fake my confidence and focus on academic achievements in hopes of feeling seen and valued.
No one will love you if you’re unattractive.
- Mrs. Potato Head
by Melanie Martinez
I wonder if they feel ashamed of me just like how I feel ashamed of myself for not being attractive enough?
I’m so unlucky that I was born with this face. Those who don’t possess the desired beauty are left feeling undeserving of love, trapped in a cycle of rejection and loneliness. They just treat you differently as if you’re not some human.
They mock you, bullies you, and belittles you.
Tell me, will a pretty face make it better? Will it finally satisfy them? Will it fulfill my life?
Just take me back to time when I don’t know what 'beauty standards' is.
Cause out of all my peers, I failed to entertain them.
Yet, the thing is I hate myself more that I feel this way. I also want to be pretty. I don’t want to despise my own reflection. I want to believe that I’m beautiful.
At least, the creator of the heavens and earth looked at me with love as if I’m some kind of art and didn’t wish that I’m someone else who’s a lot better.
🎧✮˚⋆࣪ ☾✮📕˙✧🖋️✮☕˙✧๋⭑⚝
For the girls who don’t see themselves the way God does, may you realize you are worth more than rubies.
-sincerely, haeyiraly
